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The lives of people living with mental health needs are affected in many different ways. Here, support worker, and regular blogger, Paul Stirling, reminds us of the importance of simply spending time with people when they need it most.

Linda had lost her confidence. It didn't happen overnight, it happened little by little, day by day. But Linda didn’t just lose her confidence; she had lost a sense of who she was. Her interest in the things she used to enjoy had gradually, but steadily been eroded, and she was now nothing but a shadow of her former self.

But what was worse than this was the feeling that life would never get better. That she would never get better. The feeling that life had led her to a dark and depressing cul-de-sac and was refusing to allow her to find a way out.

When I first met Linda, she sat crying, mourning what had been lost in her life. I reassured her that there was hope, that step by step she would start to regain hope and that the direction she found herself facing would change.

Linda explained that she was once a passionate gardener and took great pride in her home but life had become a monotonous routine of sitting in her chair all day. She found herself doing nothing, speaking to no-one, and feeling like a nobody.

Rebuilding confidence

After listening to what Linda wanted to achieve, we sat together and agreed on a plan to change her routine. They were pretty simple steps, but often it's the simple things that make the biggest difference. Linda had got pretty used to being on her own, so we agreed that when I came round to visit her that we would just sit and talk, rebuilding her confidence in being around people. Soon enough Linda was feeling more comfortable and started to feel more confident in her ability to talk and interact with me.

She started to feel that she could venture outside of the confines of her ‘safe’ hideaway. We agreed to try and go to a Tea and Talk event that we run every week at a local café. Unfortunately, this didn't work well -it just didn't suit Linda's personality, so we had a rethink about what she would like to do.

Linda came up with the idea of playing golf. So, each week when I met with her, we simply started going to play golf together. I couldn't even hit the ball never mind hit it in a given direction, but Linda loved it. As each week passed she got more and more confident in being away from the refuge of her flat. She even started to invite friends that she had lost contact with to join her in a game of golf.

Things are changing

Life was starting to feel less dark; she started to feel that things were changing and that things could get better for her. Her confidence was gradually being rebuilt, brick by brick, step by step, week after week. It wasn't an overnight change, but there were changes.

Linda continues to playing golf each week with friends, she came to a recent customer event that we ran in a local cafe, and said she felt far more comfortable. She has joined the Women's Institute and has booked herself on to Learn2be courses. She has started going to meditation classes with her daughter, and feels that these are helping to improve her general well-being. Linda is back to being house-proud and keeping on top of the gardening and is now on the look-out for voluntary work.

Our support hasn't just been about enabling Linda to overcome obstacles, it has been about helping her to reconnect and re-engage with her passions and her skills. What she thought had been lost is now in the process of being rebuilt, and it's such a privilege to be part of her amazing journey. 


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