A new start

Have you ever lost somebody close to you? Imagine if you were too worried about your home, finances and health to be able to grieve your loss.  Here support worker, Paul Stirling talks about how painful this loss can be and how a little support can help people through one of the toughest times in their life.

Jeremy had just suffered the greatest loss he had ever experienced. He had lost his mother. For most of us, this loss alone is devastating. People console us by saying “It will get easier with time” which feels so far removed from the pain that we feel that their nicely meant sentiment means absolutely nothing. The following days, weeks, months and years are a process of struggling to learn and comprehend our loss. In an instant Jeremy’s life had changed.

Nan

I was extremely close to my Nan. She was kind-hearted, loving, devoted, caring, generous, patient, fun and always made time for me. She would regularly come over to babysit my sister and I, and would sing to me while I tried to get to sleep. My sister would stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell up at Nan, demanding she come down to pay her some attention. Nan would always laugh and whisper, “I’ll sing you one more!”, which always went on longer than my sister could endure. She played every conceivable sport with me, and played “Emergency Services” with me in my back garden. Even as I grew older, into my teens, she would sit with me on our family PC and celebrate with me on my fastest lap on some, Saga rally driving game.

In 2010 when my Nan lost her battle with cancer, I lost my Nan and a friend. It was the plan that at my Nan’s funeral my sister and I read out a passage of her favourite Bible verse, however, seeing her coffin enter the church I simply couldn’t maintain my composure. It was just so raw for me, that my sister went up on her own to read the passage because I simply couldn’t speak, and wasn’t even sure I could stand. Looking back, amongst the nicely meant sentiments and the sincerely given condolences, I knew what I really needed was space to process the loss of someone whom I loved.

Carer

Jeremy needed space too, as most of us do. But that was one necessity he couldn’t afford. He’d been visited by his housing officer who had informed him, due to his mother’s death, the property was now ‘under occupied’ and he could no longer continue to live in the home his mother had raised him and his brothers in.

Jeremy’s mother had also had numerous physical health issues, and needed constant care. Jeremy had given the best part of ten years to be his mother’s full-time carer, and because of this was claiming Carer’s Allowance, which was being topped up by Income Support. Jeremy’s Housing Officer also advised him that he would no longer be able to claim these benefits.

Within the space of a week Jeremy had lost his mother, his home and his income.        

“It was bad. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do about my home, I didn’t know what to do about my benefits, I didn’t know who to contact and who could help.” - Jeremy  

Jeremy knew he needed help, but didn’t know who he could turn to. He was referred to us, just under one month after his mother had passed away. He had been given a date that his benefits would stop, and had been advised he would have around six months to find alternative accommodation.

When I first met Jeremy, quite understandably, he was anxious. His future had become a dark, turbulent, and lonely concept. As we normally do during our assessments, we set up our support plan with Jeremy, with the specifics of what we needed to do, and by when we wanted to have these goals accomplished.

Due to the impending loss of income we agreed to a pretty intensive plan to avoid him going into crisis. This involved supporting Jeremy to call the Department for Work and Pensions to make a claim for ESA due to his mental health condition. We then needed to get a “Fit note” signed by his GP and get this sent off to the DWP so that they could process his claim in the time frame we had before his Income Support and Carer’s allowance benefits stopped. I supported Jeremy to our local council office, along with supporting evidence, to make a claim for Housing Benefit and Council Tax reductions.

Bedroom Tax

We also needed to go back to their offices, so we could support Jeremy to make an application to the housing team to find alternative accommodation. One problem we knew we would encounter here was the “Bedroom Tax”. Jeremy lived in a three bedroom property and as he was now the sole tenant, and as so he would face paying 25% of the rent himself. This was simply not an option for Jeremy. He couldn’t afford to pay that if he wanted to avoid racking up debts with his utility providers and continue to eat. We made numerous telephone calls to the council for advice and guidance on when and how to apply for their ‘Discretionary Housing Payments’, which would, in essence, pay the 25% that Jeremy was suddenly liable to pay. After calls back and forth to the housing team and his housing officer, we were informed that they had decided to “protect” his Housing Benefit for 12 months, which meant that the council would pay the full rent for the property for a whole year. This was a massive relief for Jeremy, as it gave him both the space and time he needed to process what was going on.

Settled

Not long after this we also heard back from the council who had agreed to place Jeremy in the ‘emergency’ banding for housing, meaning that he was now one of the priorities for them to re-house. This was bitter sweet for Jeremy. Sweet because his concerns of being evicted and becoming homeless were far less probable than ever before. Bitter, as Jeremy knew his time left in the home he had shared with his mother and his family was short.

Three months on, and Jeremy is now settled in his new flat. We supported him to contact the council to change his address on his housing benefit, Council Tax reduction, DLA and ESA claims. We supported him to set up all the usual utilities, and made sure that payment methods had all been set up that would make it easy enough for Jeremy to manage them. We made an application to the council for them to pay out a £500 “Under Occupying Scheme” payment to Jeremy. This was initially rejected as Jeremy had ‘inherited’ his tenancy from his mother, and this disqualified him to this payment. However, after an email that I sent to the person in charge, this decision was overturned and Jeremy was awarded the £500.

“It’s sorted me out. I’ve got my own flat, I’m on the right benefits and don’t have to worry about going without money anymore, and everything is back on the right track. It’s a new start for me, I want to get out, make friends, and I want to get a job.”

Proud

Like he said, it’s a new start. What it’s not though, is ideal. He has lost his mother, and that loss will be felt his entire life. What he does now have is the space and freedom to learn to comprehend that. As I look back over the six months of supporting Jeremy I feel proud. I feel proud of the work that I did with him, and that despite not being able to change the circumstances that brought him to his knees, my support enabled Jeremy to pick himself up. Most of all though, I’m proud of Jeremy. Despite everything that opposed him, “I just did what I needed to do” he says. I can’t remember  one instance when he complained or moaned over the constant need to attend this meeting, or call that person, or fill in this form. He always conducted himself with grace and courage.

I may have given Jeremy the advice and support he needed, but without a doubt, it was he that got himself back on his feet.